MOVEMBER or NOvember at all!

Movember. It is upon us.

It is that special time of year when men reaffirm their manliness, and non-men reaffirm their non-manliness, or support of men who are manly, or become manly if they are not yet already and want to become so. How do they do this?

Perhaps I can illustrate the cause best with the following photos:

Sam Elliot. I believe he just picked you up. Not just the ladies.

Isaiah Mustafa. He's on a boat, and he has a moustache. Capris. Trifecta.

Double the fun. Style points.

This transcends the word moustache.

This moustache transcends the word face.

Even Brad Pitt. That's right.

Salvador Dali is perfectly normal.

Even the ladies can do it.

Kevin Kline never looked more debonaire, and unsavorily satisfactory.

There will be moustache. There will be. Daniel Day-Lewis.

Rollie Fingers. All-time, All-Star Moustache.

Clark Gable. The moustache distracts you from the polka dots.

Errol Flynn. Better tie, less moustache.

Groucho Marx. He so funny.

Charlie Chaplin. Iconic.

Remember that Burt Reynolds guy?

San Diago. Ron Burgundy.

Lando Calrissian, the only black man in the universe...and an awesome moustache.

The greatest moustache the world has ever known. Thank you Tom Selleck.

Moral of the story: I forgot. I was lost in the awesomeness that is Tom Selleck's moustache. Oh yeah, something about Movember...

Grow a Mo for a Bro.

Me and My mustache

It's been almost a week now mustache. We had a good run.

Most women called you gross, sketchy, or reacted with comments like: "Is that a mustache? Shave it off. Shave it now."

But I didn't listen to them. No, you were like a man child who needed to be shown off at Little League. You performed most ably. In fact, you outperformed three number one seeded NCAA basketball teams. You were my Marchstache Madness winner.

But, we have parted ways. You have disappeared down the metal pipes underneath my sink. Some say it is for the best. I guess the porno industry just wasn't for me or you.

March Madness Eat Your Heart Out.

This is the month that will change your life forever. It is March.

As some of you know, every March they (they being colleges that are decent at basketball) play a tournament called March Madness. But, as interesting and life-changing as that can be, this March there is a different event for men and sports enthusiasts alike. It is called....

MARCHSTACHE MADNESS.

This is the proposition:

Grow a mustache this month. Then, after galavanting, schmoozing, and having the greatest time of your life, send in a picture to the facebook event (Side note: join it first).

Here's the event

And here are some staches:

Ghandi. Oh yes he did.

A severely overweight president (but the 'stache was somewhat slimming Mr. Taft)

I love this picture. It's like the cat staged it and Dali is shocked.

Wyatt Earp. BAM.

Ballsy move.

What?! Michael Jordan too? Yeah he did.

Magnum P.I. (if you grow the 'stache, the TV stardom, sports car, and ladies follow soon after)

Greatest quarterback of all time

Greatest quarterback facial hair of all time.

DITKA!

This is not actually Groucho Marx. This was me at a party last year.

In case you forgot, Ghandi, again.

Yesssss!

I always ask myself if Nietsche was cross-eyed every time I see this picture.

Clooney. That's ammunition for all the anti-stache ladies out there.

C'mon Tyrone, it'll be fun.

Rollie Fingers

I have that same shirt. Why you always raiding my closet Hogan?

Boggs with his arms doing the mirror that his 'stache is doing.

This is how I dress when I go to the gym.

I think he'd look like a monkey without facial hair.

Once again. The all-time greatest.

National Shave Your Mustache Because You Look Like a Douchebag Day

Activists for the proposed senate bill that calls for a new national holiday mandating the shaving of mustaches were met with very pleasing news today. Tom Selleck, the only man on the planet who actually can, quote "pull off a cool looking stache" agreed to be the spokesman at a formal protest on Capitol Hill. Selleck is believed to share the sentiment of those who are for the bill, that most men look like complete idiots with mustaches.

The bill itself will create a move where barbers are required to give free shavings in an effort to clean up the faces of America's would be hypster youth. The title of the holiday, while indeed a bit long, would be: "National Shave Your Mustache Because You Look Like a Douchebag Day." But couldn't you imagine the cheer that would spread though the country when people pat each other on the back and look into a face clear of any psychological connection between stereotyped child molesters, then to say "Hey, Happy Shave Your Mustache Because You Look Like a Douchebag Day! Now see isn't life better!"

Yosemite Sam Angry at Yosemite for name infringement

I think you all remember the red handlebar mustached, midget cowboy from Looney Toons. His name is still Yosemite Sam. And, he wants the US government to pay up to the sum of 6,000,000 million dollars for the use of his name with its most profitable and famous national park.

Although he says he will take a check, he prefers cash. He also wants all coyotes shot in the park. That is the one stipulation that has made this deal sticky. And, as of yet, neither party will budge.

Some people who know him, like Daffy Duck and Porky Pig have encouraged him to drop the suit. Roadrunner and Bugs however are on his side. This hullabaloo has been going on quietly for months now and both the Looney Toons and the US government want to see it come to a expedited conclusion. For now we just wait.