A Sentimental Goodbye

So I suppose it's time to wax sentimental. Today I leave Provo, Utah. It's certainly not the first time I've done it, but this time it's for good (as far as I know). And, as usual, it's somewhat of a bittersweet farewell. I've learned a lot here. That is not an overstatement, and does not include my college experience, that, on the whole was pretty informative too. I've met great people, done many stupid things, many smart things, had some adventures, heartbreaks, backbreaks, disputes, discords, reconciliations, and intimate moments. It's been good (Now that's an understatement).

It really didn't hit me until this morning. I got out of the shower and my room mate said, "I may never see you. I wrote you a note." It was short and light-hearted, and yes, it did include what I owed him for last months utilities, but that doesn't take away from the fact that he wrote it. I've been in and heard of too many situations where a departure from a house or apartment is anticlimactic, as in, they leave on a flight or drive away while their room mates are still sleeping. Or, they leave and no one cares. Well, it's nice to know someone cares. And last night some friends took me out to dinner for a bon voyage party. I went out with some old freshman year buddies for lunch. I had one last hurrah hiking/camping trip with some friends down in Zion National Park over the weekend. I feel good about the culmination of way to many years here.

However, there are of course people who are probably not so sad to see me go. I've been, and still am at times stubborn, inflammatory, blunt, petty, lazy, forgetful, uncaring, aloof, etc. (and so much more). To those who I have hurt, defamed, or otherwise destroyed, I apologize. I never intended to do harm to anyone (unless I did - that is, in that case that you messed with my friends or family). On the other hand, I think, in many ways I have been helpful to people with good words of advice and encouragement, providing perspective and hope. I have always cared for people big and small, and gone out of my way to make their lives a little happier. I realize I'm not dead yet, but I try to live each day so that when I leave this world the world will hopefully shed a tear or two instead of just throwing a massive celebration at my departure. I will miss my friends here (but I also encourage them to finish up here and get on with life elsewhere). Provo has been a great place to grow, but thank goodness it's not the only place.

At this point of the sentimental post I'm going to list some memorable moments:

1. Getting arrested and thrown in jail in Eureka, Nevada
2. The first surf trip to Morro Bay (with my two friends who were 6' 3" and 6' 5")
3. Breaking off my engagement
4. The second surf trip to Morro Bay (with both friends being 6' 1")
5. Going over several layers of management to get my refund on my engagement ring
6. The third surf trip to Morro Bay and on down to San Diego (hitting Ventura and LA beaches) - good food the whole trip
7. Getting accused of being a stalker by Mall security
8. Surfing in LA/San Diego (burned some bridges and the car was killed by a metrosexual)
9. Hiking in Zion freshman year and getting kicked out of the park at night
10. Going to my grandparents for Thanksgiving every year for the past couple years
11. Driving from Exeter, CA to Duxbury, MA, wasting 1300+ miles just getting out of CA, then driving nearly 41 hours straight from Sacramento to Duxbury with only an hour rest in an Indiana rest stop
12. Homecoming freshman year. We went to an Italian place and the Mahi mahi was dry and my stomach didn't fare so well in the bathroom later, but I did learn some Italian while in there
13. Going to endless senior recitals with delicious food and good friends
14. Hiking up past the Y two times, and both times being halted by snow drifts
15. Hiking Mount Timpanogos a few times, mostly freshman year
16. Getting my car towed at least 5 times in the course of maybe a month or two, also getting 8 parking tickets on campus (mostly 5 minutes before it was OK for me to park in the spot)
17. Going to many football, volleyball, soccer, lacrosse, and basketball games with friends
18. Many late night runs to Wendy's, Arby's, or some other unhealthy place to eat
19. Traveling to most of California's National and State Parks in May of last year (also dropping by my family's cabin northeast of Yosemite)
20. Going out to the cabin with two friends (enjoying the 4th of July in Bridgeport, Bodie, hotsprings, and fresh mountain air)
21. Getting a friend of mine to pay for my sandwich at the Cougar Eat and then regifting it in his sink later
22. Cross-Country Skiing at Aspen Grove
23. Foundations of Leadership at Aspen Grove (I am only in contact with one of those people)
24. A recent surf trip from Morro Bay and Pismo up to San Francisco with friends
25. Zion National Park this past weekend
26. Test driving an Audi TT, a Mazda 6, the new Accord, and some other cars down Provo Canyon (always telling the attendant I was going to buy a car in the near future)
27. Going down to Vegas to give my abandoned car to a tow company guy who didn't speak english and then seeing the shark exhibit at Mandalay Bay
28. Catching 9 straight shrimp in my mouth at Asuka two years ago for Valentine's Day
29. Rafting on the Provo river
30. Getting asked by every new person who ever came by my house if I surfed and why I had surfboards in Utah
31. Going to the gym with two of my good friends almost all the time I lived here
32. Cooking interesting dishes from Brazil, Italy, or my head
33. Getting in only one really long term relationship and having way too many flings (not all regrettable might I add)
34. Holding Gladiatorial games in the backyard last summer
35. Breaking my hand sledding at Rock Canyon Park
36. Getting diagnosed with mid-thoracic back pain syndrome brought on by lack of sleep and stress (this diagnosis was preferable to the one saying I had a collapsed lung)
37. Draining the lizard for four minutes straight after a late night at some crazy girl's apartment
38. Being way to graphic and unnecessary in my descriptions all the time to make certain people (prudes) uncomfortable
39. Going to a lot of general conference sessions at the Conference Center and at great peoples' houses
40. Going running with a good friend of mine infrequently, but always with great intensity

Forty was way more than I thought I would write. There are of course a lot more, but some are more private, and the ones I listed omitted names, and interesting details. At any rate, I hope you enjoyed my reflection. I'm now going to post some random and irrelevant pictures.

My Run-In with the Law

Turns out yesterday this blog was on crack. Not too uncommon on April fool's day I suppose. There were a lot of new readers. Well, I still have 996 facebook friends so no one made any money. Sorry (But not really, so I retract that apology). However, I would like to tell you that Wells County Nevada will soon be a little richer on my account. I'm not going to elaborate. I'm just going to say I am not a fan of pigs.

Let me tell you a story. This happened a little more than 3 years ago. It might sound like fiction, but I assure you, it is most unfortunately not.

I had a bad week. That's putting it lightly. I had broken off an engagement, tried to get my money back with the ring (successfully, but not without stepping on some toes), got a concussion iceskating, and was accused of stalking by mall security because I was in and out of the jewelry store so much. So I had it with Provo. On Sunday I just got in my car after church and started driving south. After I made it to about Cedar City I called my grandmother in Pasadena and said, "I just need to get out of here to cool off. Can I stay with you for the week?" Thankfully she obliged. We went to the Huntington Gardens, talked politics, strolled around the beautiful suburban LA scene, and had a jolly time. It was a much needed break.

But I was not that far away from Murphy's law and the age old adage that says, "When it rains it pours." I couldn't just cover up all my baggage with a brief SoCal vacation. 

Play ominous music here.

So I decided to take highway 50 across Nevada to get back home. For the record, most of northern Nevada is open, flat, lifeless desert. And, route 50 is probably one of the least traveled, most boring highways in America. So, I decided to make my trip as quick as possible (clearly a bad idea). I set the cruise control a 100mph. Well that was well and good until I saw the unmistakable outline of a cop cruiser coming towards me from the other direction. I knew it was going to turn around and follow me, but by the time he turned his lights on in pursuit he was about 2 miles behind me given my velocity. So, I reasoned with myself that he was probably chasing a jackrabbit or someone else, or that he'd stop after he realized how far behind he was. Bad move. All the while I was listening to Dishwalla (the Opaline CD on my iPod-product placement plug in the story). Well, after about 20 minutes I decided I'd humor him and pull over.

Pulling over was the right thing to do, but my next move was stupid. Not thinking very clearly I got out of the car. At the time I was wearing khaki pants, a black polo shirt and was barefoot. So immediately the cop is thinking, "DRUG LORD!" And the first things that came out of his mouth weren't pretty. They were along the lines of "F- you, I'm gonna shoot you! You f-ing stupid bleep! I hate your grandma and the jews! Blah blah blah, ethnic slur... you gypped me, yada, yada" It was the typical brash cop intimidation tactics. But I was pretty stoic and unphased, which probably pissed him off more. Then he said, "You put my your life and my life in danger," to which I thought, "No. You were the one who decided to chase me. You put your own life in danger. When you chase danger, danger gets you." But, fortunately for me I kept my mouth shut. Then another cruiser rolled up.

His partner tells me he was going to get a spike strip to stop me. Right. A honda civic with 218,000 miles on it, and a slightly refurbished engine going a touch over 100mph, and you were going to get a spike strip? So they cuffed me and threw me into the back of the cruiser. As I sat there they both had their guns still cocked and ready, pointing at the trunk of my car as if some little midget was in there ready to jump out with a Tommy gun when they opened it. Then they opened it and found my wetsuit and a scrabble board. Total shocker. The kid eagle scout and former LDS missionary who goes to BYU and just came back from visiting his grandmother doesn't have any drugs or fully armed midgets in his trunk. Just wetsuits and scrabble boards. Maybe they thought I stashed the drugs inside the little scrabble hourglass timer. Who knows.

So they took me down to the precinct and had my car towed. Once we got to the station he stopped lecturing me and took my finger prints and mug shot. Bail was set at 1264 dollars. He asked me if I wanted to pay it and leave or stay the night. So I stayed. But, before I could put on their oh so fine neon orange and white pinstripe jumpsuit I had to give them my clothes and shower. The shower was like a little squirt gun. The soap was as big as my fingernail. So I did the best I could as he watched. Then I got some cute matching neon orange boat shoes and dressed. It wasn't too bad. I could watch March Madness from just outside my cell in the common room, and was in there with only one other guy named Jimenez or something. Apparently he was drunk and had committed some domestic abuse. But, by law I was permitted two hot meals and a third one cold. Carl, a good inmate apparently, was the chef/cart pusher and he would bring the food and books. Things were looking on the up and up.

I managed to get a hold of a couple lawyers and friend and my dad and got the bail covered. But, before I left they had me arraigned. My ankles were shackled and my arms were cuffed as they put me in the back of a police SUV. Then they drove me one block over to the court house. After standing up and sitting down a couple times and getting handed a huge stack of paper with a line on the end with two boxes, one that said guilty, the other innocent, I checked the innocent box. Then they took me back to the jail, gave me my clothes and said I was free to go. But, I didn't have my car. So I asked, "Where is my car?" to which the lady at the desk said, "Oh, it was towed to Ely." Now I was in Eureka. I asked her how far away Ely was and she said an hour and a half east. So I then asked if I could get a ride over there to which she said, "Well if you wait 5-7 hours we could get one of the boys to take you after his shift or you could figure something out," to which I replied, "I'll just figure something out."

And I did. I went to the edge of town and hitchhiked with a rancher in a big truck. Little did he know I just got out of jail. He was nice enough and took me to Ely where he dropped me off at the first gas station per my request. Once I got into the gas station I asked the attendant for a phone book to look up the local tow places. She let me use the phone and I struck gold with the first number. I said:

"So I'm looking for my car."

"What's it look like?" he said, with a thick western drawl.

"It's a blue honda civic."

"97?"

"Yep."

"Well I jest got me one of them last night."

"Great. So where is your lot?"

"Where are you at? I kin come over and pick you up."

"Oh, the shell gas station."

How nice. Service with a smile and a pick up. I looked out the window and saw a beat up old white pickup truck and knew it was him. I hopped in and we started shooting the breeze. He was a nice guy, and took a liking to me. He said, "I like you so I'm only going to charge you 20 dollars for the lot fee. Usually it's 60." I was thinking, "Wow. Thanks. Maybe this won't turn out to be so expensive after all." Well that dream was shattered. When I came back to settle the bill he charged me 435 dollars and handed me the affidavit so I could make sure everything was still in the car. Turns out I was missing the most important thing. My wallet. I scrounged around but couldn't find it. So I paid him with my card number from memory. Then I asked him if I could use his phone. I knew where my wallet was. I called Eureka county jail and the desk lady answered the phone. I said, "Hey this is Michael....yes I was your guest last night...is my wallet there?" She said, "Sure is, I have it in a nice manilla envelope right here." Then I asked, "Is there any possibility someone might be able to bring it out to Ely," to which I got the pat reply, "Well maybe in the next 5-7 hours when someone gets off their shift." So I went back to the jail, driving without my wallet to get my wallet and get the heck out of Nevada. And I did. But only after having visited Eureka twice, Ely twice, and having paid to run the entire town of Eureka for a month. I later settled with the court and got the evading charge removed after a year of good behavior, but settled for the speeding charge. The lawyer cost me a grand. So the total cost of my indiscretion was about 3000 dollars. 

And that's the story of how I got thrown in jail. I wish it was an April fool's joke.