Smart Monkeys and Apes

As it turns out, monkeys are smarter than us. And apes are way beyond us. The proof is in the pudding. This chimp's name is Bart. He runs a grocery store that employs seven illegal immigrants and three high school kids. The incentives for employees are food fights on breaks, and finger painting for an hour two times a week. He also is very generous with bonuses, paying his top employees in banana creme pies and lower back massages. 

This next photo is Phil. Phil is a newspaper editor. Here he can be seen checking reading an advertisement that was placed perpendicularly to the text. He is not just literate, but extremely meticulous with his reading, often reading 50 articles before lunch, with only two percent of those making the final cut.

Our last smart ape is Bobby. He lives in Borneo and likes to go stick fishing. It is similar to spear fishing but less invasive to the fish. Bobby actually smacks the fish upside the head before catching them, thus stunning them. The typical spear fisherman causes irreparable bodily harm to the fish before catching it. Good job Bobby.

Let's have babies!

I read a story today from Gloucester, Massachusetts. 17 high school girls no older than 16 plotted to get pregnant and raise the children together.

Usually the school has about 4 pregnancies a year (which to me is absurd), but this year the number was quite a bit beyond that (clearly). And, if that weren't enough, one of the fathers was a homeless man. Unfortunately, this story isn't a joke. But, it left me wondering why.

Here's the answer: The girls claim to want to be loved unconditionally. So, they have babies?! Apparently they weren't thinking about waking up at 3am to feed the baby. Apparently they forgot about having to change diapers, going to the hospital when the baby eats a bottle of tylenol, or some of the other gloriously loving things babies do. Then I think about it the other way. If they are looking to receive unconditional love, are they prepared to give it? They have now put themselves in positions that prevent the children they carry from having a stable home to grow up in, with a father and the type of monetary and psychological support that a more mature mother or family could provide.

But hey, at least they have the unconditional love of a disenfranchised baby.