Things to do with extra cell minutes: Fantasy Pet Hotline

I have a very comprehensive and affordable phone plan. I have free text messaging, data, internet, free nights and weekends, and I have a LOT of minutes. And, something I noticed in a lot of my bills was that I rarely went over even half of my minute allotment. Some of you would probably say, "Well why don't you just move to a plan with less minutes?" To which I would say, "No." 

It's not a matter of pride I promise. I like having way more minutes that I need because I know I won't run over, and, I'm still paying less than people who have half the plan I do (because I know a guy...that's all I'm saying). So, what am I going to do with all those extra minutes? Well, I've thought of some good ideas with my friend Severino*:

1. Start a hotline where I pretend to be a dog, cat, or some other animal, so that people without pets can pretend to have one. It would be like a fantasy pet hotline. (Severino also suggested that I do exotic pets like Ewoks, because hey, every wants an Ewok. And, I think even Ewoks would want a pet Ewok).

2. Pretend to be a pet psychiatrist for the pet hotline (because I am both the psychiatrist and their fantasy pet, I can always get the problem right). And the fee would be nominal.

3. Make a second hotline that specializes in robot animals. The problems they face are less messy and more technical. Robot animals might appeal more to the anal-retentive germophobe, or the very allergic demographic (And, for the record I can do an awesome robo-bark).

4. Set up a hotline completely unrelated to fantasy pets that would help people get over their fear of talking to prank callers. People could call up and I would prank them mercilessly. However, they would have made the call and so they'd at least think they were in control. They could know that a prank was coming (except that sometimes I'd just carry on a normal conversation with them to keep them on their toes, and then when they least suspect it WHAM! Totally pranked them).

5. Set up my phone so that all calls to a certain extension (8482-639426 = VIVA-MEXICO) would go to a 24 hour loop of mariachi bands playing during, after, and before a bullfight or battle. There would also be intermittent "ay ays" and "arribas."

What else would you suggest?

*Obviously not really his name

Lucid Dreaming

I don't know how many of you have thought about today's subject, but I know I have. I've read about it, talked about it, and lived it subconsciously. Lucid Dreaming. What is it you ask? Well, it can occur when you are in a subconscious state, most likely in REM (rapid eye movement) sleep. Generally, when you are in a deep sleep and are dreaming, you are not necessarily in control of your dream. A lot of times (at least for me) images, people, places, and stories unfold before you and you are the main actor, a spectator, or an extra who does some B acting.

However, lucid dreaming is the power to control your dreams. And, to be honest, I've only had limited success. It's hard to be in a subconscious state and somehow consciously tell yourself, "this is a dream, you are still in control," without waking yourself up or messing up the dream. So it is a tightrope walk. But, the cool part about it is when you are in the middle of a nightmare, fantasy, or relaxing stroll on the beach with a would be lover, you can will yourself to fly, be an awesome dancer, say the perfect line, save the world, or build a spaceship with leaves. It is a realm where you are the master.

Sleep is just as critical to survival as breathing, eating, and exercising your mind and body. Sleep allows your body to rebuild, replenish, and make sense of the conscious world. When you sleep (and sleep well, I might add) your brain is working overtime. Picture millions of construction workers taking down and putting up scaffolds, painting walls, making new rooms, organizing furniture, buying new appliances, working on the plumbing and electricity. All the while, you haven't left the house. You are watching your mind process and organize information and create new ideas. You can't take a vacation from yourself. And that is the beauty of it. Even though you are right in the thick of it, you are resting. You are only partially understanding what is going on, and are only partially in control. It is the dreamworld, and it is fascinating. With lucid dreaming however, you can gain more control, and make your dreams more productive, interesting, and perhaps solve riddles and enigmas that bug you in the conscious world. We all have potential, and I won't say that it's limitless, but is sure could be greater than we know.