In An Ideal World.

I happen to love polite appliances. Refrigerators that turn the light on for you. Microwaves that quietly beep when they finish warming your food (quietly mind you), and of course computers that ask "Are you sure you want to shut down your computer now?"

It's this last one that I am going to discuss. Couple it with firefox asking if I want to close the application even with....what's that?....two or more tabs open?!! (gasp)...and I think it's understandably become too polite.

In my ideal world people would shut their computers down and that would be the end of it. If I select "shut down" from the menu, I would expect the computer to fall in line. But no. It's like a little kid who is told to get out of the pool and says "why?". Or any little kid asking "why?" just because they don't want to do whatever you're asking, or just want to be a real life anamaniac. In this same ideal world people would return phone calls and emails promptly, people would go when the light is green, and everyone would at least drive the speed limit, if not 5 to 10 mph over it. In this same world firefox would close with or without multiple tabs being open, similar to a bar where multiple clients have running tabs.

But this world is not the world of today. No, we live in a world where movie tickets cost $11 and still suck just as much as when they cost $6.

Yay. At least we don't eat food in pill form like the Jetsons.

Shirking the Blog

Quite often I find myself shirking my blog because I just don't feel like writing. However, that's not entirely true. Sure, sometimes I'd rather be wiling the afternoon away in a hammock with a good book, drinking pineapple juice and listening to the sound of a midsummer rainstorm, but most often I don't write because I just don't want to make the effort. Or I think I might somehow not write up to my readers' expectations. Hopefully, that is always the case. I hope most of my posts are anticlimactic, and a waste of your time. I mean, you don't pay me enough to get A+ effort all the time. What am I saying? You don't pay me.

I just want to put up a thought, blurb, photo, series of photos, a clip, a satirical story, or something entirely random that makes you chuckle, guffaw, shoot milk out your nose, fall out of your chair, get mad, or make you cry yourself to sleep.

Guffawing with milk is not recommended. Neither is chuckling while crying yourself to sleep (that's just messed up). But then again, who are my readers? Maybe I should just make the assumption that they are all just as weird, quirky, and strange as I have a tendency to be on this blog.

Here are some photos:

In the computer.

You know what happens next.

Morbid? Yes. Funny? Yes.

Horses know how to guffaw.

And Peter Griffin knows how to make the most of his milk nose laughter.

Giving your life meaning...

Feel free to call it laziness, but today I'm just posting some ridiculous pictures that just happen to be funny. I didn't have to look hard, and in fact stumbled upon these in a friend's photo album (probably of his childhood). I'm sure you'll relate to some of these, and hopefully, if you're drinking milk you'll share it with your computer screen.

Uh oh.

Sweet.

Cannibal pumpkin beasts are the worst.

Mean, but effective.

I wonder who it could be...

I pretty much died after I saw this.

That's deterrence 

That used to be me before I dialed Jenny Craig.

She's so happy.

I hope that made your day. If it didn't, maybe it's time to re-examine your life. Maybe you have nothing to live for. Well, live for this blog. It will always fill your life with meaning. It's a good replacement for Scholasticism, Humanism, McCarthyism, or prisms.

Papers, Papers, Everywhere!

I've been writing too much lately. But, it's really not going to stop any time soon. I've written a big chunky delicious paper each of the past two days (and I should have written two yesterday, but I didn't) and I have another paper twice as big to write for Thursday. I'm a bit light-headed from staring at my computer screen, not getting decent sleep, and some weird bug that's going around.

But who cares! I already wrote a post about how inebriation has helped some artists create better art. So maybe the same goes for me....I lkmef rn.kv krn.kv....pokpwd?.........l;;;;;;;;ytffffffffffffffffffgtrdcrttttttttdxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

Ok. Perhaps not.

And who drooled on my keyboard?

Mac vs. PC

Apple has fooled us all. And we like it.

The whole mac vs. PC thing is stupid. Let me just start with that. An Apple computer can do anything a PC can and vice versa. Sure, mac has a better advertising strategy, and managed to successfully brand themselves as something different than 95% of the computer industry, but the line is fading. Apple stores charge exorbitant sums for hardware, software, and limits what kind of products and services their affiliate can provide. And, their computers really are not any more reliable. I speak from first hand experience.

Just Tuesday, as I was typing a message on someone's Facebook wall my browser started having a seizure. So, I tried to force quit the browser, except, I couldn't. The whole computer then became irresponsive. So I shut it off. Upon rebooting, the screen went gray, and then instead of showing me profiles and asking for a password, I saw a blinking folder icon with a question mark. What I discovered is that this indicates one of three things:

a) your computer's operating system is not functioning properly
b) your computer cannot locate your hard drive
c) your hard drive has malfunctioned, been corrupted (ie: Armageddon)

So I got my tech savvy room mate to help, to no avail. I then asked the on-campus IT people to help, and they claimed they couldn't help with a personal computer (PC), - even though its a mac - so I brought it to an Apple affiliate to run a diagnostic knowing full well that I may lose all my files in a worst case scenario. In a best case scenario, it is just a software glitch, my drive's ok, and so are my files.

But my point is this: Apple computers are not impervious to failure like so many loyal mac people think. They overheat, breakdown, have software errors, and yes, they can even have viruses. And, they cost more. But still, I think they are good computers. I would not discourage anyone from buying one, just as I wouldn't discourage anyone from buying a PC. Just get whatever is the best bang for your buck. Cheap, reliable, etc. You know your criteria.