Random Stories of Non-Laziness

Some of you might think to yourselves, "Man is that guy who writes the Satire Report lazy. He always wants his co-writers to fill in for him, and then decides to take an extended hiatus when Michael Jackson dies." Okay, maybe none of you were thinking that. Maybe you think it a lot (I mean, like every time MJ dies). Wait a second. I'm definitely not lazy. Some people only update their blogs once a month, or once a week. I do it almost daily. Emphasis on ALMOST. Ok. Random story time.

So I spent most of today making a little extra cash moving furniture, boxes, and pianos. Those of you who follow me on twitter know that. I'm sorry I'm repeating myself. I have also decided I will never become a professional mover. That piano was only a small one, but I could have easily been crushed or paralyzed. Fortunately I did not have to take it upstairs (only up and down from the truck and up and down a few front steps). But, maybe if I had professional mover gear I would've been able to save some of my strength (or back/shoulders/legs). Who knows? Movers probably. Oh, and I have now become more familiar with my friend Benjamin, so that's a plus.

But moving stuff wasn't enough. No. I decided to drive along the proposed bike route my Dad was plotting for some Boy Scouts. He printed out some directions from google maps, except they were only maps with a highlighted route, and as it turns out, did not show enough detail. Unfortunately I was the co-pilot, and so we took quite a few detours. Fortunately, one such detour took us by some pygmy horses (not ponies, my mother corrected me), and another detour got us all some slim jims and an odd assortment of nuts. My favorite detour, however, involved McDonald's. They have angus burgers now. And, I've found that other than being larger, they taste the same. McDonald's fail. But, it's McDonald's, so I guess I shouldn't have expected Ruth's Chris Steakhouse.

Ok, random stories over. Random pictures begin:

Well, you have to weigh them sometime.

Merman! Merman!

Every day man. Every day.

Without me it's only 'aweso'.

You can hear it just by looking at the picture.

Move over Dwight Howard (in some places this might be considered abuse - just like Obama swatting that fly).