My Valentine's Day Philosophy

There are a lot of Valentine's Day haters out there. A lot of people have been disappointed on Valentine's Day. Some never get asked to do anything on Valentine's Day. Some are never in a relationship when it comes around. Some are in a relationship but either vow not to do anything because they're afraid of it never meeting expectations, or don't do something because one or the other is a schmuck. Well folks, here is my Valentine's Day philosophy:

I don't hate Valentine's Day. It's never made me bitter or upset. It is a day of love. There is no reason why a single guy can't ask out some girl on Valentine's Day and show her a good time. You don't have to worry if it's going to go anywhere. It's nice to have a day where you can just lavish gifts and romantic praise on someone. It makes the asker feel good because they have someone that day, and aren't relegated to 'stay at home loser' status, and the askee should feel great because of the same reason and that they got asked (so someone was at least thinking of them). If you do want to start something good luck. If you are already in a relationship relish in it. Of course you can go out on nice dates and buy exorbitant gifts on any day, but Valentine's Day gives you an excuse to go over the top and not feel bad about it.

Here are some good reasons to enjoy Valentine's Day:

1. Chocolate

2. Sensuous meals

3. Creative floral arrangements

4. Sweet Nothings

So, there you have it. Live it up this Valentine's Day. Just be careful with the sweet nothings.

Defiant Garbage Collectors

Every wednesday morning, garbage collectors come by my house. I assume they come to collect garbage. Seems only logical. 

Well, last week they came by our street and picked up all the garbage from every house...except our house. Why? Well, I figured that it was some technicality. Perhaps we had too many trash cans or something. Or, maybe we didn't roll them out far enough into the street for their passage to be obstructed enough not to ignore. Or, maybe the fact that we filled each can with 300 pounds of lead, and a family of rats. But no, I think what happened was much more malicious.

They are haters. They didn't like our trash. And they don't like us. They were making a statement. Well, we're going to get them back. First, we called up their supervisors. Yeah, we're tattlers. And, when they come back, we'll have a post-halloween surprise waiting for them. A few dead bodies!!! That'll learn 'em (you love my grammatical correctness).