Dear Diary,

This Spring break I went to Disneyland, chilled with my grandma, and got my wisdom teeth out. Oh, yes. All four of my wisdom teeth have taken a permanent leave of absence from my oral cavity. The aftermath has been completely and utterly bearable, with a tinge of mediocre dull pain. Apparently it's not always this way. No, I wasn't eating a burger the same day, as others' stories may go... but my cheeks did NOT swell to chipmunk proportions!
Perhaps I should clarify: I was terribly disappointed to have such little swelling. Perhaps due to the combination of my talented surgeon, my natural tendency towards rapid healing (seriously, I'm like wolverine...), and a general hereditary cellular stoicism--my cheeks just weren't meant to balloon out as though I was trying to get in the Guiness book for marshmallow swallowing. Alas.
WHY? Why would I ever wish the Swollen Jowl Syndrome (SJS) upon myself? Because it would have made hilarious videography. I had every Alvin & the Chipmunks song I could find on my laptop, my webcam prepped and polished, my ducks were in a row. The plan was to lipsync as Alvin...you know, playing the harmonica, wishing for the hula hoop, getting yelled at by Dave... and I would have posted that video at the end of this blog.

I guess this will just have to make up for it: