IBM is not Smarter.

The IBM "smarter" commercials are ironically stupid. Why? Because I have never (to this point in my life anyway) met a smart energy grid, traffic light, toll system, tree, rock, or otherwise inanimate object. Yet somehow, IBM's magicians can make things with no sentient ability not just sentient, but smart.

But, I suppose that wouldn't be too hard to fathom from a magician (who used to make computers and is probably allergic to rabbits), except that they claim to make these inanimate things more than just smart, but smarter. Smarter grocery stores? Trains? Classrooms? Shipment? Smarter than what? When the one guy says "smarter water", it makes me want to buy some. Seriously. I would love water to think and be smarter. It doesn't need to be smarter than me, but smarter in general would be fine. Oh wait...there is already smart water. Sorry IBM. You missed the boat on that one.

And smarter medical records? I dunno man. I don't think that would be good. Imagine the mayhem. Not only do they have your health information on them, but they tell jokes about your health problems with witty sarcasm and sass. Or, they mess with you by showing your weight as 140 one day, then 210 the next. Or, maybe they grow legs, become "super-genius-schizophrenic-smart" and start to jump out of windows and burn themselves. Then what good are they?

What I would prefer is a smarter IBM. Or perhaps, a smarter IBM marketing strategy. Like maybe just saying: "Look man, we're IBM. We do stuff" or "IBM, the people that used to make computers, but now do mostly consultant work" or "The best part of waking up is IBM". All "smarter" alternatives that get the message across and are attractively self-depricating. That's a company I can get behind (and kick).

That Swedish lady freaks me out every time.

Slurpee Day - 7/11

Remember this day....For it will live in infamy....7/11. For it was and will remain one of the greatest strokes of marketing genius that Seven Eleven Owners will ever come up with. Soon, very soon, the big Indian business execs will take over the world. Every year, on July 11th, Seven Elevens across the US give out free slurpees. Fortunately in the US, 7/11 is generally an extremely warm time of year. So, everyone and their dog goes to Seven Eleven to join in the free, frozen, deliciousness.

But the ploy is not subtle. It is defensibly smart. You come in to get a free slurpee, realize the size is small and then proceed to either buy a larger slurpee with the free one, get a new slurpee, or buy something else with your free slurpee. In the case that they run out of free size cups (which is what happened when I dropped by around 10:00pm) you end up just buying some little drink and food anyway, because you don't want the trip to go to waste. Therefore, I declare Seven Elevens nationwide very good marketers. And, because I did not get my free slurpee, I will most certainly arrive a lot earlier next year, even knowing that the prize isn't particularly large. It still is a free slurpee. And I know Seven Eleven is making bank.