1. I never do anything embarrassing.
2. When things happen to me that are cool and I share them, other people feel bad because they realize that their existence is meaningless.
3. I have eaten things I shouldn't have, and I have no regrets, but I refuse to be told that I have to have any of the eskimos removed from the shark I ate.
4. I was not fat as a child, and I'm sorry if you were. See a therapist.
5. I'm too busy doing unimportant things to read your list, so I'm not going to guilt other people into reading mine.
6. I like the same music as you, have all the same favorite foods as you, and am actually your identical twin.
7. Lists of 25 are not divisible by 3. That's unacceptable.
8. I am running out of ideas and I'm on number 8. Now imagine doing it yourself.
9. I am pretty sure most of the lists people write are chock full of exaggerations, BS, and things to make others laugh, and, I hate laughter. It's the worst.
10. If you thought stepping in dog poo was bad, think about how hard it is to clean BS off your eyeballs after reading it.
11. Every one of the 25 things on my list would be easily made into a screenplay for a blockbuster.
12. Billy Idol told me not to make the list.
13. I like chicken (This reason is more relevant than you know).
14. In the list of contract violations in my hiring agreement for being a Teacher's Assistant, the 25 list thing is number two after sexual harassment.
15. This '25 things about you' game is the first step into entering a social networking cult closely affiliated with worshipping dolphins and eating only halibut.
16. I like halibut too much to resist its smelly innuendos and fishy pick up lines.
17. Making lists of 25 things about yourself increases your chances of getting a brain tumor, pancreatic cancer, marfans syndrome, and the heeby jeebies by 700 percent.
18. This list is sufficiently self-indulgent. Another one would cause my implosion, and we don't need another black hole.
19. Lists usually get progressively boring as you read them (for example, see this reason)
20. I care about you enough to ask you to stop before you unnecessarily defame yourself in front of millions of people online from Singapore and China (They also use the lists to pick out who would make a better slave to kidnap).
21. Predatory Walmart greeters will stalk you if you make one of these lists.
22. You will be labeled as a spammer for the rest of your life, even if you don't like spam and have never been to Hawaii.
23. The children will cry.
24. You will never get to return to Narnia.
25. You will choke on oatmeal when no one is around and the Walmart greeters dressed in nothing but Walmart bags will put stickers all over your face.
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