Good Blogs and Bad Blogs

I think, generally speaking, updating your blog is a good thing. However, some of the more popular blogs are starting to irk me a bit with the amount of updates and posts they put up on a daily basis (hopefully some of you readers feel the same way about this blog). I've tried to keep it to a post a day, but on occasion I've skipped because I'm just not always feeling it. Well, I'm trying to force myself to feel it more often (do not take that out of context).

Blogs used to suck. And, in fact, most of them  still do. That is, unless you are some avid personal historian who loves to hear the mundane day-to-day of several million less than exciting average everyday people. Thank goodness for failblog and awkwardfamilyphotos and lolcatz and satire blogs like the onion and this one. They will give you more than your fill of inane drivel and hilarious things that don't make sense. And really, isn't that what we all want? To be entertained? If a blog is not entertaining, why the heck are you going to read it? To catch up? To make yourself feel less guilty when your friend asks you if they've read your blog? 

For shame. 

You should read a blog because it is interesting, and because the writer is a) creative b) funny c) not going to tell you a play-by-play of every waking moment of their boring life or d) because you like the pictures/movies and random media tidbits. I hope I have done my job. Those are my two cents. Don't spend it all in one place (unless it is this blog), and then I say you read and enjoy all the posts, click a million times on all of the ads, and even buy things you find interesting. Or, you can do whatever the heck you want, which you'll probably do anyway.

A lovely sampling from failblog

And a great sampling from awkwardfamilyphotos

And a bit from lolcatz

And the ever so classy - The Onion

Awkward Family Photos and Alien Cats

I stumbled across this site and find it more than just mildly entertaining. It is called Awkward Family Photos.com. It's really phenomenally weird and eery, but hilarious at the same time (Sounds like all the things you ever wanted and more right?) Here are some of the photos, and one of the latest from failblog.org:

The finger.

Sporting their pet rabbit and parrot. Why not?

Freakiest birthday cake picture ever taken.

Joe Dirt's family.

Just me and a tiger in some local mall.

Do not get pictures taken at Nina's: Check.

I think I'm going to start "reporting the news" with weird random photos. And, but "reporting the news" I mean making up bald-faced lies that are hysterical, yet poignant and revealing. An example might be the following picture with the caption "Owner discovers pet cat to be alien after giving it a bath":

Bob Rothbart was a simple man, like so many are in this country. But, he had a gentle heart. On March 5, 2004 he saw a little stray kitten eating grass on his lawn. His wife was wary of strays, and said she was allergic, but Bob took the little cat in. His wife Cindy had this to say on March 16, 2009:

"I don't know what he was thinking. That animal was ugly looking. When I saw it for the first time I thought it was a rabid squirrel that had a strange tumor on its face. Bob was so trusting."

Bob named him Lucky. The little kitten Lucky grew and lived like a normal cat for years. However, Bob never did take his little fur ball in to the vet. He didn't know how ironic the name 'Lucky' would turn out to be. On March 17, 2009, Bob was let in on the secret. 

While washing his 1994 Dodge Caravan, Bob sprayed Lucky a little bit. When he realized Lucky enjoyed being sprayed, he took him inside for a bath. That was when he found out. But it was too late. Only seconds after the cat was soaked did Bob recognize the creature before him. His cat was an alien. Not only that, but little gremlins started popping out of its fur. Several of them immediately scampered down the main hall way in his house and promptly sucked out his wife's brains. Bob ran to get his gun and shot Lucky, but was mobbed by the gremlins while making his escape for help. His leg was severed and he received 70 stitches on his shoulder, but Bob made it out.

The neighborhood he lives in was put on quarantine for 7 months by the federal government. Bob lives in an undisclosed location under the witness protection program. 

"If there was one thing I could share with people out there from this experience - don't pick up strays, and listen to your wife. I sure wish I did," said Bob.

Living with Awkward

Awkwardness. It happens. Some people say they relish in awkward moments. Some people are bothered by them. Either way, it happens. In ancient Greek folklore there was a goddess of awkward. Her name was Awkne. She managed to bungle things up whenever she spoke, acted, or even thought. And, whether or not the ancients were right, her awkward ways never left us.

However, for those who try to create awkward situations because they lack the wit, charm, or intelligence to maintain a conversation or be funny, I disrespect you. For those of you who are clever enough to make awkward situations just to watch other people writhe in anguish and confusion, I salute you. For those of you who just endure awkwardness as an occasional fact of life or as a constant companion, I feel for you.

I am not a fan of people who, because they feel uncomfortable or just cannot stand long silences randomly yell out, "AWKWARD!" It shows immaturity, and really ruins any semblance of normalcy the moment might have had. Guess what? It's okay to be quiet sometimes. It's also okay not to always know what to say. That's why we have the expression, "goes without saying" and the other, "there aren't words to describe it."

I do however, like to keep people on their toes. I like to get under people's skin sometimes. Tact is fun, but if you live your life as a superficial, single-layered, prude, your life isn't going to amount to more than a mess of pottage. So, I have on more than one occasion, taken someone aside and asked them a random, deep, thought-provoking question or done something absolutely zany and off the wall. I may or may not really know the person, but that's not the point. The point is to get a reaction. To see if the person is real. To elicit a response that is multi-layered and unpredictable. It is, in a way, a method for checking one's pulse. To see if they are indeed really human (Because if they are robots, we must know or we could all be dead).



And, lastly, for those of you who have to deal with awkwardness on a daily basis as if it were a genetic disease, I'm sorry. But, on perhaps a more positive note, you could be daemons, or the offspring of a God, being neither God, nor man. I am saying, in no uncertain terms, that you could in fact be a direct descendant of Awkne, goddess of awkward. And, that's not too shabby.