A Changing World

The world is changing. And sometimes, it changes in leaps and bounds rather than incremental ticks and tocks.

A prime example is that of our mutual friend "Ichabod." Well, let's call him Ichabod anyway.

There are certain thresholds that many of the male gender promise to themselves never to cross. But then either curiosity or a woman beguiles them to eschew their otherwise rock-hard principles.

Such was the case with Ichabod the other night. His first foray into this unknown world was when he was reassured and even beguiled by attractive women to buy "skinny" jeans. Sure, they were labeled "slim" jeans, but he knew what this was all about. He entered the fitting room a curious man, and left a redefined beast of modernity. Some might just call him a metro.

The skinny jeans fit by the way and didn't even look skinny. Or maybe he was just equivocating to make himself feel better about his dwindling masculinity. But the jeans were just the beginning.

Later that evening while flipping through the channels he saw a title he had sworn to never read, watch, or even do anything to except ridicule as often as possible: Twilight. He flipped to Twilight and then quickly back to some show called "The World's Most Haunted Places," so that he could click the 'recall' button, promising himself an avenue of escape if the movie turned out to suck as much as he had been led to believe.

He watched the whole thing. And while it was at times mind-numbing, and terribly absurd, the stinging rebuke that stayed with him was that he didn't hate it. What had happened to this man Ichabod? Was he still a man? Or had he morphed into a self-loathing, shiny vampire promoting, ball of sexual ambiguity?

Who knows?

But what thing we can be certain of is that he purchased skinny jeans, watched Twilight, and then didn't hate it.Step 1 - Ichabod wears questionable "skinny jeans."

Step 2 - Jeans become leggings. Jeaggings.

Step 547 - What happened to step 3?

Step 548 - You've gone and done it now.

"Definitely Maybe-ers"

Paraphrasing a friend of mine, there are two kinds of people in this world: Those who are always busy, and use that as an excuse not to do things, and those who are just as busy, but somehow always seem to find time for things. I thought this statement was pretty accurate, except I think some people just aren't busy and don't do jack (much to Jack's chagrin). But those people aside, I want to talk about the people who are always busy and never seem to be able to find time to live life.

I'll call these people the "definite maybe-ers" because, they have a hard time prioritizing and organizing, so instead of saying "yes" or "no" they say "maybe". I have a feeling that I am not the only one to deal with this dilemma, so while it may seem that I am ranting, or complaining or whatever, I'm just trying to point out a trend that people can relate to. A trend that makes no sense for anyone.

Let me give some stark examples. 

If you are invited to a wedding reception, or a wedding, more often than not (and by that I mean every time) you are asked to RSVP. I have never heard of someone RSVPing "maybe" to someone's wedding. It's just not practical. The couple cannot just spend an inordinate amount of money of tables and food for people who may or may not come. They need to know definitively. So, if I ever heard a "maybe" for my wedding or reception, I would take it as a "no", and, a slap in the face because the person could not deign me with an appropriate response. If I got that response, the person would most likely not remain a friend. Now, bear in mind a "no" is far more polite and I would not feel burned at all. 

Another example would be if you're asking someone out on a date. Especially if the date is something that needed to be planned out in advance, like a concert or a nice restaurant. If the person being asked says "maybe", I would move on. It's not polite. How hard is it to pull out your planner, look at your schedule and either see if you're free or not? It's not. Now, if you are a "definitely maybe-er" you might have a bunch of "maybes" already penciled in, and that would cause you once more to say "maybe". Living life like that is ludicrous. Give a guy or gal a "yes" or "no".

But here's where the problem comes from: Many people want to seem polite, or be "nice", so they do not give definitive answers and waffle out of fear of offending the other party. Well, the reality is, being clear and saying "yes" or "no" is not a mean way of interacting. It is honest, true, appreciated, and "nice". There is no need for ambiguity. Ambiguity makes things awkward for the "definitely maybe-er" and the person being "maybe-ed". So, the solution is directness. 

If you truly don't know if you can manage something, there is a polite way to deal with it. You do not respond until you know for sure. "Maybe" cannot suffice. Neither can a "yes" that turns to a "no" or a "no" that turns to a "yes". I hope I'm preaching to the choir on this. What do you think?

Do the Limbo!

Limbo to some is a fun game where you get limber and get groovy with some sweet Rastafarian rifts, but for others is just a subtle, momentary temptation to sacrifice your lower back, pride, and tail bone in the name of impressing some girl in a hula skirt who you think is winking at you. But limbo is more than that. Way more.

For those of you who find yourself in between the years of 18-25(maybe older) and you haven't quite finished college yet, but are very close; you are probably very familiar with the other kind of limbo. It's the kind that enables you to get a less than sweet job, get exploited like a 5 year old Malaysian kid at a shoe factory, going with little or no pay, but bleeding your soul for your employer all the while. Yes, I speak of internships. Sure, you get a few perks, rub some elbows, maybe get some free Chinese food, but beyond that it's slave labor. And why are you so used? Well, simply put, you're a liability. If you were on the payroll, the company you intern for would be paying you to learn, and inevitably, falter. But, if they don't have to do that, why would they? Not only do they get their whole inventory marked, boxed, organized, and put in a multi-colored database spreadsheet format, but if you screw up, they don't have to pay you. They can chuckle and just give you a more demeaning task. Not to say that you don't get plenty of experience and contacts through internships, but realistically it is probably challenging to say the least to pay your cell phone bill, fill your car with gas, pay for public transport, rent, insurance, etc. So, ideally if you have an internship it would be nice if your family or institution covered your butt. Fortunately for many, they do. For you others, you have to get other jobs. Like maybe three other jobs, and then still scrape to get by. And then, on top of that you may not even go into that line of work.

That brings us back to limbo. If you go to an internship great! You gain experience and have your eyes opened. However, if you don't end up going to that company or career path, it might just be a whole lot of mucking through slop without a clean horse stall at the end. But, if life is for living, then, well, at least you lived it. Limbo can be good. A blessing and a curse. You don't want to shut the door on your options...but you don't want to end up in a career 10 years up the road that you despise. Do the limbo limbo lim, do the limbo limbo la....