Early Morning Epiphanies

Everyone knows all the best ideas come after 1am. Always.

Start an offshore bank account in the Caymans. Write a book about an Amazonian river dolphin named Tim. Start a circus of flying squirrels and train them to steal people's wallets while one is jumping through a flaming soda can hanging from a birdcage.

The possibilities are limitless.

For instance. Let's say you write a blog. It's past 1am, and you think to yourself, "Self, you are indeed thinking to me, and you should write a blog about this genius idea you just had." Then, instead of writing about that genius idea, you write about having genius ideas after 1am and chalk it up as some misguided attempt to inspire the masses. Good work self.

Here are some more successful ideas:

Bringing your pet monster on your road trip of the UK.

Telling Coco he was adopted, and that you were the one who farted.

Poorly photoshopping tea pots on Mr. T photos and then calling him to gloat.

Getting rid of those hairy pits the FUN way.