Thursday, April 23, 2009

Boy Discovers China Digging Hole in Back Yard

At 8:30am this morning in the small town of Gary, Indiana, a boy by the name of Jed discovered a link about which some children have only dreamed. For centuries parents and old weird uncles have been telling little kids that if they dig a deep enough hole in the back yard, they will reach China. Many adults, and even some skeptical children thought this was a mere ploy, that is, until this morning.

As it turns out, Jed managed to reach China after digging approximately 6 1/2 feet down in a spot in his yard in between the bird bath and the sand box.

Geologists, geophysicists, and farmers are baffled. Some astronomers are calling it a worm whole, while others think it's a smaller, more subtle fold in the space-time continuum. Jed's neighbor, Lewis Barnaby, a farmer, and part-time auto mechanic, had this to say:

"I told that boy he shouldn't dig too deep cuz he might snap a cable or hit the septic pipes. Well, thank goodness he missed those. But now I'm glad he dug that hole. I can go to the Beijing Olympics now for free. And, I love Chinese food."

Later Mr. Barnaby was told that the Olympics ended last summer.

Jed on the other hand was more realistic about the benefits of his new hole to China. He and his parents have already made a deal with a rural monastery on the other side of the hole to train him to become a monk.
"I think this a fabulous opportunity for cultural exchange. The town of Gary is going to have a renaissance of sorts. Soon enough you won't be able to count the number of cheap sets of furniture and gallons of tainted toothpaste coming out of that hole. And, I bet just about everyone in town buys one of those Zildjian cymbal hats," said Dr. Lubscrubber, archeologist and comedian from Indiana University.

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