Saturday, November 22, 2008

Armageddon!

I've heard a lot of people talk about how Armageddon is at hand because of the global financial collapse, pirates, Jesus moving into the White House, and even 200 narwhals getting trapped by encroaching winter ice. Well, I'm feeling a bit left out of the mix. So, I'm joining the chorus that believes Armageddon is upon us. Why, the moon even is turning red (when I look through my 3D glasses).

Here are some reasons to believe the end is near:
1. There is a huge pile of leaves in my front yard and no trees nearby
2. The entire BYU campus is being taken over by deer and quail
3. I don't have a car
4. global cooling - Narwhals trapped in ice and citrus crops plagued by frost
9. My front door is broken
10. I nearly choked on a granola bar the other day
13. Sylvester Stallone made another Rambo film at 60 years old
14. No American in their right mind would by an American car
17. The new James Bond movie wasn't as good as the last one
18. Harry Potter is on the Queen's short list as "heir apparent"
19. I asked for my eggs to be over easy and they were scrambled
21. 1 out of every 5 people have had their brains removed by video games
22. The East is relevant again in the NBA with: Boston, Cleveland, Detroit, Orlando & Indianapolis
23. Michael Jordan is doing Hanes commercials with Charlie Sheen
25. The Weather Channel is laying people off


3 comments:

Scott Earl said...

The NFC (pro football) is also relevant. I know last season was won by an NFC team (the Giants) but that was a terrible conference last season. This season is quit the opposite.

I'm surprised to hear you say that about the new Bond movie. Most people I've spoken to have liked the new one better. I haven't seen it yet, but have a hunch I'll be in that boat since I hear this one is a lot more of a true Bond movie.

Anonymous said...

I know one thing, we are one day closer to the end today than we were yesterday.

Michael Powers said...

Quantum of Solace was pretty good, but it actually lost a lot of the Bondness of prior films. That, and the action scenes were a bit hard to follow.

And, anonymous is right...we're getting closer day by day.