Dear Skipper Steve,
I was talking to your cousin Scuba Steve and he told me that you have no special powers. He claims you're not even a Superhero. And after my sailing escapades this weekend with you and your homies, I would have to agree.
We went out on a sailboat with your homies, and it was cool, but there was no wind, and the main sail was jammed, preventing us from capturing any of the fleeting wind (Where was your mighty breath on that one Skipper?). When we came in to get another boat, ours did not have a jib sail that fit it, or sheets, or an appropriate size cable to rig it (Guess you don't have a utility belt like Batman).
I admit, it was stupid not to check the stern plugs before we went out, but who doesn't like to float around on a sinking catamaran? After we drained the pontoons and put the plugs in, we got out and even started sailing a bit with our jury-rigged boat. But, unfortunately the trampoline in between the two pontoons had a rip in it, which I was conscious of until I started manning the tiller. I stepped on the ripped part, the trampoline gave way, and I was suddenly scuba diving with your cousin Scuba Steve.
I will never forget the wonderful memories. The bottom of Utah Lake is 3 feet of goopy, spa treatment quality mud. And I didn't even pay for it. Thank you for that Skipper Steve.
Your now naturally pedicured friend,